| Login |
|
Last Updated on Sunday, 07 February 2010 16:28 Written by Faisal Masood Saturday, 06 February 2010 16:05
Mentoring is commonly defined as an interactive professional development relationship in which both mentors and those they mentor gain career support. The reciprocal aspects of this relationship - mentoring is true partnership. Many people seem to think that mentoring is one sided, mentoring gives and mentee receives. A true mentoring is not one sided.
Having the support of mentor has long been regarded as a crucial determinant of career success. A mentor is traditionally someone with advanced experience and knowledge who is willing to provide upward mobility and career support as well as to enhance the mentee's competence, sense of identity and effectiveness. For the mentee, engaging in a mentor relationship is associated with career advancement, personality development and broadening opportunties. Mentors get satisfaction when mentee succeed, they also learn a lot in this process so it is reciprocal.
The “mentor as authoritarian” model is no longer a viable way of approaching mentoring relationships. These days, the mentor is more likely to be the “guide on the side.” In the past, the person being mentored was more of a passive receiver of information who was chosen by the mentor to engage in this relationship. Today, the mentee actively seeks out and develops such relationships.
In the past, the mentor set the direction of the relationship. Today, the mentor’s role is to provide a more supportive experience to address the mentee’s goals. The mentor is no longer responsible for the mentee’s learning. Now, it is the mentee who should take the lead in setting and achieving learning goals.
In the past, the mentoring relationship involved a single mentor and one mentee. But today, those seeking guidance often rely on multiple advisors for career guidance. In the past, mentoring was considered an ongoing experience. Today, it is more goal-driven than calendar-driven.
It means that the mentee is responsible for initiating the mentoring relationship and ultimately for the direction and progression of his or her career. It pays to be proactive in initiating a mentoring relationship! But first, you need to think it through. Ask yourself:
1. What specifically do I want to learn from a mentor?
2. What are my goals?
3. Is it career coaching or counseling that I need?
4. Is what I need something that a mentor can help me with?
In short, you need to know yourself first. The next step is to research and assess who would be a good mentor for you. Your future mentor may not be part of your existing network. You should explore your current network of contacts to help you identify individuals who may be a good match for you, such as:
1. Former managers
2. Current or past co-workers
3. Business colleagues outside the firm
4. Referrals from people who know you well
5. Do not underestimate your successful Uncle and Aunt or your distant relative
Next, ask yourself ‘How can I evoke a mentor’s interest in me?’
Certain qualities are particularly attractive to mentors. Not surprisingly, they’re more likely to be interested in helping people who are committed, respectful, and curious. Another strategy is to ask a prospective mentor what they would expect from you. This shows leadership and initiative on your part. It also helps to establish what I call “relational equilibrium.” For a mentoring relationship to succeed, it is absolutely critical to ask about your mentor’s needs and interests so that you can reciprocate when the opportunity arises. Moreover, asking your mentor what he or she would like to get from the relationship is a great way to start to build the relationship. A successful mentoring is all about relationship building, and relationship building is really about trust. You build trust over time:
1. By coming prepared for each meeting
2. By doing what you say you’re going to do
3. By keeping your mentor’s confidence on information that should not be shared
4. By showing respect for your mentor’s time
5. By understanding that the frequency of meetings will depend on both parties’ schedules
6. By listening intently and keeping an open mind to advice and criticism
7. By searching for ways to achieve your objectives prior to discussing them with your mentor so that you can contribute ideas to the discussion
8. By being honest with your mentor and discussing your problems or shortcomings clearly and openly
9. By applying the advice you receive – and discussing the results at the next session
10. By NOT expecting your mentor to manage your career – that’s still your responsibility
11. And finally, by working through any conflicts that arise. In a good mentoring relationship, you won’t always agree. But working through conflict with respect and tact can actually enhance and deepen the relationship.
Once trust is established, you’ll see your relationship will start to grow. So reach out to your friends, colleagues, relatives, associates who are willing to become your mentor. Often we ignore our relatives, assuming that he or she can always be there when you need help. However it is not about getting help on adhoc basis but developing that relationship, remember relationship is built over times.
Here’s one last tip: Feedback is a gift. So remember to thank your mentor for his or her guidance.
Subscribe to this comment's feed
